Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
