i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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