problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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