just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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