He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
