Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
