hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
