Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
