Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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