Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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