Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
