I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm passing your future prison.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
