well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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