question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
