Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
