I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
