I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
