My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
