That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
