Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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