We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
