Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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