I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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