I wish I only lived at night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize