I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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