We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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