Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize