I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
