Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
