If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
