we made out on top of his cat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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