I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Rumble strips road head = magical
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
