dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just google imaged poop.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
