I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
