Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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