yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
