Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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