Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I deserve this hangover.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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