Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
