I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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