I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
