WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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