anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
did i walk over a car last night?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
