I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
