Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize