so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
