Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She announced her abortion via fbk
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
