You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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