Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
