He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
