he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
