You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
