maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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