The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
