umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
