Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
