What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
