Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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