He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
